Complexities of Christmas

3AM

Complexities of Christmas

Is it really the most wonderful time of the year?

I’m old enough to know it’s just another day of the week however it doesn’t make 12/25 more better or worse when it rolls around. I always wanted to be that hoo from The Grinch with the overly decorated house, some form of gingerbread cookies on the table and tons of presents around the tree.  Instead year after year it seems more like the opposite keeps happening.  For the past two years, my seven foot white tree hasn’t made it out of storage. The year before that I set the tree up but didn’t decorate it. Why you ask?  Because life normally hits the fan around the holidays and I throw in the towel in disgust. Last year, I spent Christmas Eve at a bar alone with tasteless tacos.  There was so much arguing and fighting over bullshit I couldn’t think straight. Christmas day is still a blur but I remember seeing Star Wars. Another year my mother got assaulted by my uncle three days before Christmas.  

The only thing that gives me a little excitement during the holidays is signing up for Secret Santa. Not Secret Santa at work which requires buying a random coworker a gift I would never spend money on normally but Secret Santa with kids.  Sitting down reading their crooked handwriting and sky is the limit request from Santa.  Some kids ask for everything under the sun from a house to a Xbox. Sorry kids, I have a House on my Christmas list as well.  I can’t remember which year I started signing up for Secret Santa for kids or donating toys to a non profit.  My thought process is I mind as well buy a toy to someone not expecting it at least someone will be happy Christmas day while I probably go through another round year of bullshit or unexpected events.

Maybe this year I’ll get peace.  Who knows.

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